I figured out something fantastic... love the Lord with all your heart, and obey Him, which comes from loving Him... He talks to you. You can see or Him answer your prayers. NO MORE LIVING WONDERING IF GOD HEARS YOU!!! Of course, God always hears you... but you might not hear Him.

just follow close to Christ, and you'll hear Him. I promise you that.

I had gotten into a low point in my walk again (not as bad as last time)... and Krista inspired me to pull out of it... and I promised, for her sake, to reform... and I thought about it... no it wasn't for her sake, though that's a side benefit, but because I love the Lord, and I want to do what He says. So, I started over (again) and this time, I can see the hope. I feel God again. Last time, I let myself get in the way of hearing God. I thought I misheard Him, but I didn't. So I ignored Him...

that's all over now. I want to be 100% the best I can be for God, for my future wife (hopefully Krista hehehehe), and for myself. Since then, I haven't fallen to the big struggles I deal with constantly... and although I found myself speeding today in the car, I slowed down and asked for forgiveness.

I'm really gonna live right this time.

anyways... Krista and I have been praying together that we hear God's answer. we totally do not want to to do something wrong. She made the same commitment the same night. We're trying to help each other and encourage each other to overcome our fears of witnessing. we're actually benefitting each others' walks, because the thing we love most about each other is our relationships with Christ.

And after a ton of talking... neither of us find anything wrong (besides struggles - but hey everyones got em) with the other one. i am what she wants in a husband... she's what i want in a wife... down to small little things that i never even would hold against someone... she meets those too. she's not "hott" or whatever, but she looks PERFECTLY like what I want. everything about her radiates.

anyways... the news is even more exciting... but I can't tell ya'll yet because i need to talk to her first, she should be the first to know.

w00p w00p!!!

now you don't even have to type that, and i can continue on with my story.
I haven't told ya'll much about this girl named Krista. there is a reason. hahaha...

out of 10 people, 6 of ya'll don't approve me liking girls online... 3 say something like "i cant stop you or anything... but i wouldn't like someone online"... and the other one says "ok cool. what's she like?"

so, by saying that i'm real crazy about this girl, i'm just getting ready to hear a bunch of ya'll talking about how bad an idea it is... or whatever the case is.

but, it's got to the point i cant hold it in anymore haha. i really love her. like... like i didn't think i would ever do again after eryn. and since she doesn't like long distance relationships, and since i don't either, we're gonna wait until we can live near each other (after college... she can't afford going to a college around Liberty, and I can't leave Liberty because God's called me there)... so more than likely, after college, I'm moving to El Paso TX yall... but that's in 4 years from now.

anyways... about Krista now...

she's really amazing. she's 17, turns 18 in July. she's been homeschooled... graduated a year early and she's already in college. she's in love with Christ. sure she has problems, but the great thing is that she wants to fix em. everyone has problems, so i can't say she's perfect... but... she's perfectly imperfect. she's a real person, sure... that's what i'm looking for. who would want to marry someone perfect? a perfect person would probably despise me. but... i AM looking for someone with very few flaws. there really is not much wrong with her at all. she's really sweet. she's pretty. she and i agree on like everything just about, we like the same kinds of things in people and relationships. she has a passion for music. she dances. she's really sweet and pretty.

i could keep going on... but i think this blog is long enough as it is hahaha...
she's on myspace so ya'll can see her pic from my friends list if ya want.

so check out my purevolume page now buddy!

my first girlfriend, Eryn, thinks I'm really immature...
my last girlfriend, Fabi, really hate me or something...
then i got really close to Desirae... and eventually she said we should just be friends...
then i started getting closer to Mallory... and today she said we should stay just friends...
it's seriously driving me crazy... what on earth is up with this?

why girls hate me so bad?
why do they?
why?

plus then rachael's really bugged at me... lol...
any other girl i'm interested in isn't interested in me at all or hates me or something...
it's just insane. it really is.

and here's my b-day wishlist:
Spanish/English Bible (NVI-NIV Translation)
Nice lil pocket Bible kinda thing I can tote around everywhere